are you lost?

derpbent:

(anonymous)

Tonight is the 2nd lunar perigee of the 5th dark season’s equinox. It is a very special night, and also the wriggling day of a very special person!

But that person isn’t you, so you couldn’t possibly give less of a fuck.

Your name is VRISKA SERKET. You are a yellowblood and self-proclaimed master of your caste’s trade and basically everything else to do with computers. Some people disagree with you, but they’re just jealous of how great you are. Your online win record in every game you play is flawless thanks to all the hacks you use to decimate your opponents (you still have a win record despite being banned multiple times for cheating because you’ve hacked the servers in so many ways it’s impossible to actually keep you out or destroy your computer). The scar over your left eye is a testament to how whiners can’t deal with your greatness. You wear it like a trophy badge.

Your friend gave you some programming thing to do with a bunch of code translated by some prick. You’ve been putting it off because you’re too busy being the best, but you’ve just finished it because she’s taken to nagging you and oh look there she is now. Wonder if she has anything interesting to say, unlike every other time she talks to you. The messages come so slow from her it’s like she’s only using one finger to type or something.

That’d be funny if it wasn’t also probably true.

— (kanaya) [GA] began trolling (vriska) [AG] at 12:20 —

GA: Vriska Are You There

GA: I Havent Heard From You At All Lately

GA: I Trust You Finished Your Side Instead Of Slacking Off And Playing Video Games Like The Last Twenty Six Times I Asked

GA: Tonight Is Our Final Night If You Didnt You Know

GA: This Could Have Been Done Perigees Ago But Again You Left It To The Last Possible Moment

GA: Its Just So Disappointing

GA: Im Going To Die Being Disappointed In You Thats The Last Thought I Will Have

AG: oh my 6od!!!!!! will you cool it? i sent out your dum6 6ame hours a6o to everyone i want on my team.

AG: maybe i was waitin6 for YOU! did you ever think of that?

GA: You Did What

AG: i FINISHED YOUR PRO6RAM and then i SENT IT TO PEOPLE WHO DON’T SUCK.

AG: for someone who spends so much time 6uried in 6ooks you sure have trou6le with reading comprehension!

AG: or are you just asking 6ecause you’re surprised i can do things without 6eing told?????? in which case screw you.

GA: Are You Sure It Was Hours Ago

GA: ?

AG: okay maybe it was more like a few minutes 6ut WHATEVER.

AG: the point is, i already did it! and i’ve got the 6est players.

AG: well, except for you, 6ut you like stories about underdo6s, right? now you’re the pack leader! :::)

AG: anyway here are the files.

— (vriska) [AG] sent (kanaya) [GA] the file “stupid6ullshit_server.~ATH” —

— (vriska) [AG] sent (kanaya) [GA] the file “stupid6ullshit_client.~ATH” —

AG: now you can send them to all the losers who i didn’t pick, like eridan.

GA: Those Filenames Are Unnecessarily Rude

GA: Also I Dont Want Eridan

AG: one of us has to and it’s not 6oin6 to be me!

AG: you’ll just have to take one for your team, maryam. ;;;)

GA: This Isnt Even Following My Plan

GA: We Were All Supposed To Work Together As A Single Group

GA: Ive Spent So Much Time Determining The Most Efficient Order To Enter In To Complete The Game In An Orderly Manner In Which No One Is Injured Emotionally Or Physically But Now Everything Is Split Up

GA: Why

AG: why don’t you ask fishface?????? he never shuts up about how 6ad i am at 6ame6 even thou6h HE i6 ac6ually 6he wor6t at 6hem.

AG: so i’ll prove once and for all how much 6etter i am when i win in the only 6ame that really matters!

AG: he’ll be on your team, so when he cries i want you to take all the pictures, okay?

GA: Vriska I Never Use Emoticons Because I Think They Are Silly But There Are No Words For How Stupid That Is So I Will Use This One

GA: ._.

GA: But Yes I Will Take Pictures If That Happens

— (kanaya) [GA] ceased trolling (vriska) [AG] at 12:59 —

If you aren’t reading derpbent then you are doing something very, very wrong with your life.

The art is breathtaking, the characterization is spot on while being simultaneously fresh and fascinating. Basically everything is fuckin stupendous and you’d be silly not to read it this instant. 

I’m actually operating on the assumption that all my followers are caught up on this stellar adventure and are just as eagerly awaiting an update as I am. The idea that not everyone in the fandom has read this is a confusing and uncomfortable thought for me.

If you by some tragic twist of fate were not aware of this work then I am so sorry. Go ogle it immediately and repeatedly, you will absolutely not regret it.

My goal was to watch Elementary over the hiatus but then I got kidnapped by Off.

I just had an uncomfortable moment where I realized just how much content there is on the tv tropes Homestuck page. 

I voluntarily read, and occasionally reread portions, of a comic that’s now, what? 8000 pages long? And now I’m willing going to read about all the tropey tie ins to the comic? And that’ll take what, twelve fuckin years?

I mean it’s not that I’m worried I’m wasting my time. It’s that I’m worried how comfortable I am brutally murdering my time.

I don’t know shit about dangdang ropa or whatever but I know that the pastry vacuum and the super buff lady are so gay for each other that the rainbows are leaking into nearby fandoms. 

Kinda like John’s hands except significantly more adorable. 

TV Tropes drinkings game: go to any trope page, if Homestuck is listed as an example take a very small sip.

You’ll be wasted in minutes.

Scrollin past a bunch of ghosts in this fanart like is this for Off or Homestuck?

I’ve decided that my humanstuck headcanon for Eridan is that he’d be Swedish

bc swedish fish

Homestuck! Now with 52% more arms!